Cultivating Gratitude – It’s Good for the Soul

Here’s the long-awaited journal entry for the C part of the #selfcaresaga – Cultivating Gratitude. We’ve gone through some pretty serious topics on this self-care journey, but understanding these are crucial if you want to learn to love yourself unconditionally. Another one of these topics is gratitude, something not exclusive to just Thanksgiving. In order to keep our hearts open to love, we must always employ gratitude in our lives. Some situations are easier than others, no doubt. But by acknowledging what we do have rather than what we don’t, we can create space for abundance, appreciation, and true unconditional love. Gratitude reminds us of our genuine wholeness and connectedness to the world around us.

---

Lately, I’ve been feeling confused. Wondering why I’m here in this human body. Why am I part of this 9-5 culture that shares absolutely none of my values? I didn’t ask to be here. Given another chance, would I want to be part of it? I don’t know. I think these are all valid questions and concerns. Why are we here in this body? What’s this life all about? I’m learning that there are no real answers to these questions. At least none of which we can be 100% certain.

A major feeling behind these thoughts was a sense of entitlement.. As if I were entitled to choose my type of existence. Why did I have to participate in this “human” project and where can I exit? Day to day tasks were getting increasingly harder, and I was losing energy. I could tell I was getting more anxious, too. My state of mind was constantly back and forth, no real sense of clarity or peace. Luckily, my trip for California was coming up, where I’d spend a week driving from Los Angeles, through the Sierra Nevada mountains up to Lake Tahoe, then across to Highway 1 down the Pacific coast. I was not aware then of the journey that would soon unfold.

I drove over 1500 miles over the span of 5 days, so I got to see so much of California’s natural beauty. Being surrounded by Mother Nature and her creation really humbled me. The beaches, the sunsets, the mountains, the ocean, the snow, everything. It was wild how captivating the geography was. The huge skies and beautiful colors. I was brought to tears several times. Rightly so.

How would I be able to experience any of the beauty around me if I weren’t here? If I didn’t have to be a part of the “human” project. Plain and simple, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have a body or the proper organs to perceive it all. How lucky are we to be able to experience the glory of the universe.. It fills me with so much joy and love.

The opportunity to witness life around you is a blessing, and we’re living it right now.

When I returned home, I tried to keep up this idea of seeking out all of the beautiful things in nature. Although we don’t have mountains and beaches, we still have trees and flowers. A different expression of the same beauty. I was lighter when I returned home, cleansed of some of the entitlement I was harboring prior. Of course, a trip like that is enough to humble anyone, and not everyone has the opportunity to do so. But there is life around each of us, growing and evolving into the most perfect creatures, as long as we keep our eyes and hearts open.

Changing my perspective on my circumstances really made an impact on my mood and how I carried myself throughout the days to come. Shifting from a place of emptiness and lack to one of fullness and love allowed me to truly appreciate the things that I had in my life. Instead of asking why I had to deal with the suffering of the human world, I was reminded that I was given the opportunity of life, period. I was right, I didn’t have to be here. But I am. I was allowed a healthy body that acts as a vessel for me to experience this life. I have a strong support system that loves me unconditionally. Probably more than they should sometimes! With these feelings of appreciation and love, I was at peace. I could be without any of this stupid stuff, but I would still be here. Still breathing, still smiling, and still loving. How can you be frowning and moping when that is a fundamental truth you know to be certain?!

Staying focused on what we have keeps us feeling whole, complete. When we forget, we keep our attention on what we think we need, what could be better, what am I missing to be happy??! There’s this void that we try to fill with material and superficial things, but somehow, we never have enough to feel satisfied. This chasing will distract us from seeing what is already inside of us.  

Everything we could ever want or need in this life is right here in our hearts.

This spirit within, capable of all the love in the universe. Essentially, our entire beings are made of love. Isn’t that what we are all ultimately looking for anyway? Not to mention how badass of a person you are to have made it this far. Being grateful for our journey, no matter how rough, will give us the strength to persist. We begin to trust our ability, and that goes a long way for self-care.

By nurturing this idea that we are already complete, we begin to develop a calm inner peace. We will understand that we already have everything we need, so instead of wasting energy there, we can move forward with experiencing life. Over time, these happier states of mind will attract more good things in our lives. Taking care of our mental health in this way helps us to make better choices for ourselves. The impact of gratitude on self-care is huge, and it’s a crucial step in creating the healthiest version of you.

If any of this sounds strange to you, I challenge you to make a list. Right now. Even if it doesn’t sound strange, make a list. Ten things in your life that you are grateful for. And if ten is too hard, try five. It may be hard, but it’s manageable if you get down deep. If you’ve read up to this point, I’ve already listed a couple you can steal. Here, I’ll make one with ya.

I’m grateful for

the opportunity to experience life
my beautiful and healthy body that allows me to live and love
a roof over my head, somewhere I can sleep safe at night
friends and family who support and encourage me to be my best
functioning organs that work effortlessly to let me live
beautiful skies that remind me of nature’s capabilities (also, science)
my intellect which helps me to make rational decisions (most of the time)
my heart that allows me to feel emotions so deeply and care for those around me
the universe and all her mysterious magnificence
chocolate ice cream

There are many ways we can express our love and gratitude for the earth and others. Saying “Thank you” goes a helluva long way in relationships. Compliment the heck out of others! Acknowledging your appreciation for the efforts of others builds respect and trust among your friends and colleagues. Being kind to the earth and other forms of life shows our regard for Mother Nature. Having a daily meditation on the things you are grateful for will keep these present in your mind. You don’t necessarily have to meditate, but I highly recommend it. Even writing one or two things down on a piece of paper is beneficial. That way you are acknowledging and speaking them into existence. Small gestures for others show them that you care and want to create a relationship based on reciprocity.

Some days are easier than others. Yeah, it’s nice to be grateful and all, but there are going to be some days where it seems like nothing is going right. It’s going to be the biggest challenge to try and visualize the things in your life you appreciate. But that’s the most important time. I challenge you to find the good out of a sticky situation. There are rewarding lessons hiding in the dark. Reframe your experience to be a learning opportunity. What is this teaching me? What can I learn from this? How is this making me a better person? Instead of hating where we are, we can instead be grateful. Thankful that we are given a chance to evolve. A chance to be a better version of ourselves. Keeping our gratitude present with us allows us to carry our strength wherever we go. That is something that people can’t take away from us. We have the choice of control of our minds. We can either be blind to the love and abundance around us, or we can fully embrace and feel it all. During the hard times, this strength will keep us moving forward.

We can persevere. And we will.

❤

 

Sassy, Smart, & Beautiful: You Can Do It, Too!

I never used to be very popular in school. I made friends and great grades, but I was never into being superficial in order to secure friendships. I was always timid, shy, afraid to talk to anyone. It wasn’t until very very recently that I found out that there is literally no reason on earth to ever feel like that in a social setting. Why do we always keep our mouths shut when we have something to say? Why do we let things just happen to us, too afraid to stand up for ourselves and others? Wait a minute. Who is stopping me? Who is actually keeping me from doing all these things? Myself. I had created an entire universe in my mind where I was the stupid idiot, stupid for asking questions, just plain stupid and not good enough period. It’s amazing how we can do that to ourselves, our innocent souls who are really just trying to get along with the world. Why should we dump that unnecessary burden on someone so undeserving? So then, I began to question myself. Why do you talk to yourself like that? More importantly, how can you let yourself talk like that? Who told you that was okay? Then, after a full self-evaluation and interrogation, I decided that I deserve more from myself. I am a human being, fully deserving of dignity and respect, and I owed it to Madeleine to be more loving. Now when I look back on my 23 years of life, I am so proud to have come so far in life. I am proud and thankful for my good judgement and rational decisions that have led me to this point. Maybe some moments not so rational, but in the end, I am exactly where I need to be, and there’s no one I can thank more than myself.

So who am I now? For those of you who know me, I shouldn’t have to go into much detail since you already know how silly I can be. But for those of you who don’t, I can now describe myself in words that I have never dared to use before. As of now, I consider myself sassy, smart, and beautiful. Why am I just now using these adjectives to describe me? Who knows. But the important thing is I have fully come to terms with how awesome I am, and I can already see myself on the path in the most beautiful direction one could take in life. Now, saying all this may seem vain at first, but I promise it is just speaking out of confidence and security. It is important for everyone to feel this way about themselves! Everyone on the planet has the power to fully accept and love themselves for exactly who they are, but little do they know this is the happiness everyone is searching for. A life without judgement or fear, a life without loneliness or anxiety. 

When someone refers to you as “sassy”, you probably assume some negative connotations, or even associate it with being a bitch. Well, I prefer the internet’s definition a lot better, “lively, bold, and full of spirit”. I think it’s perfectly cool to be sassy, if not freaking awesome! I have come to enjoy owning this characteristic, because I know it means that I am full of life and laughter, silliness and spontaneity, and above all, I know how to respect myself. But we can’t forget to respect others while we show off our sass! To me, sassy is finding that balance, in between having a respectfully good time, but also being able to call someone out if they say something full of BS or out of line. I’ve also found that people gain respect for you if you can put them in check; it kinda puts things in perspective for them. I could be completely wrong, but now I can have fun conversations with anyone I meet! I’ve never thought I was that interesting, but apparently people get a kick outta me! 🙂 

In addition to self-respect, you also need to carry yourself confidently. Confidence is key, literally. Because the moment you are sure of yourself, no one is going to question you. Confidence shows that you have everything in control, and that can be very intimidating considering not many people have their life figured out and under control. Not that we are trying to be necessarily intimidating, but it is good to be certain, both of yourself as an individual as well as the world around you.

Now if you don’t consider yourself smart, maybe you made decent grades or whatever, why don’t you??? You have a brain fully capable of mastering skills of wit and intelligence, so you are more than able to use it to THINK. In my opinion, being smart is just being willing to learn with an open mind. Adaptability always helps too, having the capacity to weigh all your options and consider possibilities. Being smart means respecting yourself enough to make decisions that reflect a better tomorrow! Understanding and managing the balance between work and play. It’s important to make careful decisions, whether it’s to have that fourth beer or studying for your biology exam or even to leave the city. This is your life, you are in control. So why not be a smart driver?! We create our own futures, so every single thing we say, do, and think counts.

Lastly, on intelligence, as a scientist, I think it is completely stupid that we have evolved capacity to feel and regulate emotion, yet we are sitting here still using primitive brain structures to eat, sleep, and attack. We as a species have evolved abilities to use reason and logic, critical thinking, and more. Are we just going to let all this go to waste while we sit in front of TVs and drown our thoughts in negativity and idiocy? I know that school seems like a waste of your life and boring and irrelevant, but I think gaining knowledge has to be one of the coolest things. We don’t really know what we are doing or why we are here, but why not live this time to its fullest, learn all we can, and hope to succeed? Whatever you decide, it’s part of my plan, so you can either join me or have fun living a boring life!

My favorite new word to describe myself is beautiful. Before about a year ago, I was always ashamed to say anything or refer to my looks. I don’t exactly understand where the source of this particular feeling comes from, but it’s time to nip it in the bud! Why are we sustaining a society that plays off of the insecurities of women? Why is it okay to let our daughters and sisters and cousins grow up feeling bad and insecure about themselves? Honestly, this refers to guys, too. I know y’all have insecurities just like us girls, and it’s time for you to dismiss them just the same! I learned that a) I have a really messed up unattainable idea of beauty and b) all beauty really boils down to being able to accept and embrace your flaws. Gap in your tooth? Rock it. A little less than fit, but still trying your best at moderation and balance? Good for you, dude! Can’t see without your glasses? Eyebuydirect.com. Stop complaining about things that you can’t change and learn to love that they are a part of who YOU are, the coolest person in the world. And what’s even better is if you CAN change it, then do it! You are always in control, remember that.

Beauty is all about being comfortable with who you are thoroughly and completely. Loving yourself is beautiful. Caring about and respecting your needs is beautiful. Respecting the community and environment around you is beautiful. Doing things solely out of love is aboslutely the most beautiful thing. So go be a light to the world, carrying yourself with sass, smarts, and beauty, sharing your gifts with everyone around you!